The Good, the Sad, and the Ugly

I know, I know, I'm supposed to act out violently and respond in kind to Carole's relentless attacks -- and I’ll get to that -- but first, I want to talk about some wonderful parts of this episode -- one of the best RHoNY episodes ever. I hope this doesn't violate some practice of "real" writers.

I loved the section of Sonja speaking to her new intern. It so brilliantly captured Sonja's honesty, self-deprecating humor, confidence, quirkiness, and presence. Her stream of consciousness left me laughing and charmed. I've had my differences with Sonja, but I have to say, this glamorous funny person I saw is the real Sonja. I want her in my life; I want to be her friend.

[video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/embed/select/uiM7IvcUopRs]

Watching Ramona as her daughter Avery and Avery's friends prepared for the prom was so moving. We know Ramona as a fun party person, a fierce enemy, a great friend, a provocative presence. And we know she's honest, sometimes brutally so; certainly the most honest housewife. You could call her "The Realist Housewife of New York City."

Now we also know Ramona as a mother. It's easy -- and wonderful -- to see her connection to her daughter. They clearly care for, love, and respect each other. What a tribute to Ramona!

I was very impressed with Kristen competing in the Spartan Race. She risked injury and disfigurement (nearly fatal for a model) and triumphed in the race. It was a race she didn't want to compete in and only did it because her husband Josh wanted her to. She agreed to do it only on the condition Josh didn't abandon her during the race. I don't know what Josh intended -- say anything to get her to race "for her own good" or did his machismo take over and he just wanted to win? It felt like a betrayal to me, and I felt bad for Kristen. Still, she was amazing, and I'm full of admiration for perseverance and skill.

[video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/embed/select/psyHxPeUZgCi]

Okay, if you’ve read this far, you deserve a trashy reward for wading through all the positives about this latest RHONY adventure. First, I want to reiterate last week's blog theme -- this is a stupid fight. It's not about any of the important things that people fight about -- religion, politics, sex, money, eyeglass frames -- it's about ghostwriters. Carole thinks I had one/I think Carole had one. That's it. And as I said last week, I don't care if Carole had one -- or a hundred. But it was -- or could have been -- one of those fun Real Housewifey fights.

You did!
Oh Yeah!
Yeah!
Well, you did too!
Oh Yeah!
Yeah!
You're a liar!
You're a phony!
That's not nice!
You hurt my feelings!
I'm so sorry!
I apologize!
I don't accept your apology!
I don’t accept yours!
I'm even sorrier!
I'm even apologizier!
[They embrace.]
Sister!
Sister!

Instead, it escalated to the physical (Carole pushing me in the face -- not a nice thing to do to a girl on a staircase -- even a two legged girl) and new lows in insults. OK, maybe not a new low. Last year one of the housewives did call two of the others "white trash" -- but still pretty low. Anyway, Carole did call me a "nothing." That's something, don’t you agree?

Worse, I think, is that she followed it up with “who never worked outside the house.” “A nothing who never worked outside the house.” Really, Carole? Leaving aside for a moment that it’s not true (when dealing with Carole it’s often necessary to leave aside for the moment that it’s not true), it’s insulting to every woman and man who works inside the house – whether they’re real housewives (as opposed to REAL HOUSEWIVES), mothers, domestic workers, telecommuters, business operators, editors, or . . . hang on . . . wait . . . it’s coming . . . WRITERS! Some writers work at home. What a concept.

[video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/embed/select/QTzNiPccJq1Z?form=html]

But then, in Carole’s mind, they’re not real writers. Where did Carole do the 20 or 30 years of journalism that led to her two books and real writerdom -- in Starbucks? That's what I call keeping it real.

So here's what I think:

--Workers work. And that makes them workers wherever they do it.

--Writers write. And that makes them writers whatever they've done before and wherever they do it.

You know what, Carole, if you want to continue fighting with me, fine. We get it. You're injured because I asked you if you had help on your book. Everyone knows it. You've spoken about it, written about it, and even sent your surrogate Heather to go around carrying the torch of your persecution. Who knew you were so touchy? But I was the one who asked you. Me. Only me. Don't take it out on the millions who work inside the home, or the many who consider themselves writers simply because they write.

Thanks to:
Susan Baker Photography: SusanBakerPhotography.com
Angelo David Pisacreta from AngeloDavid.com
Dani Fonseca for Temptu: TheBodyofArt.com and Temptupro.com
Gallery Books; Jennifer Bergstrom, Tricia Boczkowski, Louise Burke, Elana Cohen, Kristen Dwyer, Lisa Litwack, and Jennifer Robinson.

Buy Leggy Blonde here.