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Someone Denying They Hooked up with You? Here's What's Really Going On
Southern Charm's Whitney Sudler-Smith is telling Kathryn Dennis a different version of events regarding their hookup.
Saying it didn't happen after the hookup is a little weird.
But that's what Whitney Sudler-Smith seems to be doing to Kathryn Dennis. When the Southern Charm pals sat down to discuss their alleged hookup, he straight up denied it. Meanwhile, Kathryn had details, like um, how he left his glasses on during sex.
"I went to coffee with Craig [Conover] and Austen [Kroll], and I assume you heard, it came out that, like, you and I hooked up this past summer, and they said that you denied it," Kathryn asked him. "So I was just curious, why?"
Whitney looked straight at her and said: "We have a different interpretation of events," but added he’s "flattered" over her version of events.
Are you serious?" she asked him. "You’re lying. I’m just saying, it’s being talked about. It would be better for you to just say, ‘It happened. So what?’ And leave it at that."
Relationship expert April Masini told Personal Space that saying you didn't have sex when you actually did to someone's face is dysfunctional, at least.
"Someone who denies that they’ve hooked up with you when they have [likely] has self esteem issues. People with low self esteem try to control situations so they can wind up looking a certain way, and believing certain things about themselves that aren’t real," Masini said. "It’s a tough way to live, and a lot of people do it. It’s a dysfunctional way to behave."
What does it say about the person who is lying?
"They don't want to deal with reality. They’re trying to manipulate the truth to make themselves more comfortable," she added. "Admitting the hook up, which really happened, requires them to deal with any number of discomforts, ranging from their possibly having cheated on someone by hooking up with you, to their having no interest in a relationship (or subsequent hookup) with you and not wanting to deal with your feelings about the hookup and the lack of a future relationship, and what the hookup meant (or didn’t mean). They may also feel embarrassed that they hooked up with you and they don’t want anyone else to know that they hooked up with you so they are not judged for their choices and taste."
Which seems to be the case with Whitney when it comes to Kathryn.
"Bottom line, people who deny reality lie to themselves," Masini added. "It’s ultimately impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who can’t accept reality. It’s one thing to make a mistake, but it’s way more important to admit a mistake and behave in a way that shows you’re a human being with self-respect. Apologize. Explain. Admit and move on. If you can’t, that lie is going to build. Maybe not all at once, but over time, it’ll lead to more relationship chaos."
People who behave like this often act out in hopes of getting a reaction.
"Later, they wish they hadn’t, but instead of apologizing to a friend with whom they’ve behaved badly, they have millions of viewers who’ve seen this bad behavior and that makes it OK in their mind," Masini said.